


I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Established Relationship, Romance, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-07-15
Updated: 2007-07-15
Packaged: 2018-09-06 03:35:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8733208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Dean stops fighting when Sam dies. My Wincesty version of the 'hug' scene from AHBL Pt 2





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

The day Sam died Dean stopped fighting.

He'd been fighting since Sam left for college. Fighting the need for his brother. When Sam told Dean he was leaving Dean took it personally because of what had happened the night before. They had been in the backseat of the Impala, limbs tangled, chests heaving, skin slick with sweat. Dean was still inside Sam, slowly softening as he whispered "I love you Sammy." Sam had looked at him with a pained expression, slid from his brothers lap and stalked toward the house, straightening his clothes. Dean just sat there, cursing his stupidity. 

And so Dean had started fighting those feelings, the fire and ice running through his veins. He heard that Sam was dating, wasn't surprised when he felt jealousy toward this girl called Jessica who got to be with Sam, see him, touch him, hear how his day was. But he didn't dwell on it. He just fought to ignore those thoughts. There had been no mention of their previous relationship when they resumed hunting. Dean knew that Sam loved Jessica and that he was grieving. Hell, Dean was grieving too, he'd long since gotten over the childish feelings of jealousy and just wanted to be there for Sam. 

Dean still had to fight though. When he saw Sam smile in a certain way, or when he got his brother to laugh at a joke, the old feelings rushed to the surface, setting his skin aflame and freezing his blood. Of course then Sam was grieving for Madison and Dean had to fight more then ever. He longed to quiet Sam's crying with the press of his lips. Longed to whisper those three words again as he held Sam that first night. But he hadn't. He'd known that it was too much and at entirely the wrong time. So he went back to fighting. 

And then Sam died and Dean's will to fight died along with him. He'd known instantly what he would do. Hell, he'd contemplated selling his soul to get Dad back, but he knew right away that he'd risk anything and everything he had to get Sam back. Get his brother back. Get his lover back. 

The entire drive back to Sam the only thought in Dean's head was _'pleasepleaseplease.'_ He knew the pact had worked, could feel the force passing between him and the demon bitch as they kissed, but still he repeated that one word over. 

Seeing Sam examining his back in the dirt-crusted mirror was possibly the most wonderful sight Dean had ever beheld. He rushed to throw his arms around Sam and had his breath stolen from him as he breathed in his brothers scent, lemons from his shampoo, gun oil, earth and something else, an element that was all of these combined and none of them, something unattainable and without a name and one-hundred-percent pure _Sam._

Dean felt Sam flinch with pain and pulled away. He looked up into those aqua eyes and knew that he never should have fought those feelings. But he also knew that it wasn't too late, that they might only have a year together and he was going to fight not a second longer. He took Sam's face in his hands and kissed him. He felt Sam stiffen from the shock before relaxing and kissing Dean right back. 

They may only have a year left together, but Dean felt time stop as they stood together, lips and tongue and hands exploring each other. Too soon Sam broke the kiss, breathing hard and trembling slightly. There would be time for questions later, but now they had a bed and a need burning in them that could not wait. 


End file.
